the rest of the story

Settling in at the new school took longer than I anticipated. Although Max seemed to have gotten off to a good start at making friends and finding his place, I could tell he still wasn't feeling totally comfortable socially. One funny story from one of the very first days was that he fiddled with the settings on his computer in the computer lab and somehow changed his screen colours to look like a negative (remember those? film, negatives??). The kid beside him noticed it and asked how he did it. The teacher said he turned around and saw that Max had gone and changed every single screen for the rest of the class. Funny kid. I still don't know how to do it, I'll have to get him to show me. Max's class is a 2/3 split and there are several highly active and spirited boys. I think that has made it tricky for him to figure out where he fits in. He spent the first many weeks playing with Marty and sometimes the two of them would play with other K or Gr. 2 kids. Sometimes Marty was fine to play with his peers while Max would just wander around by himself. I noticed he sometimes did that at South Pop. He always seemed really content to just float from group to group, and if he wanted to join in with what they were doing - he would. I think at this school he's content to watch but not so confident to join in what the other kids are doing. He told me a few times that some of the boys in his class use bad words outside so he'd rather not play with them. I talked to the teacher about it, to see what he noticed about Max's interactions, and he said he had noticed Max's interests were quite different from most of the boys in the class (I still haven't had a chance to find out exactly what he meant by that), and that he would see what he could do about connecting Max with the grade 2 boys in the other split class. There is one boy in his class who has become a close friend. We buy farm fresh eggs from their family, and a week ago Friday when I stopped by to get eggs, we were invited in for a visit. The big kids all had a great time exploring the farm and backyard while Jax napped in the van. Then we went inside and continued the play and chatting while the Mom and I had tea. Jax slept in the van the whole time. It was a great visit, and I was encouraged to see my boys play so happily with the boy and his younger sister.

Marty has been doing great at school. Although every morning he asks me if it's a school day, he's always the first one out of the van and usually runs to meet his friends outside or just go straight to class if we're (usually!) late. He is always greeted with a "Hi Marty!" by several kids, and gets the same attention at the end of the day. The kids in his class are all very sweet and I've made some good connections with many of them during my 2 mornings helping in the class.

So, things seem to be going well, for the most part. It really is a great school, and I have been very impressed with how they do things. Lots of parent involvement, friendly teachers, and - for the most part - well-behaved kids. BUT! There's a but! After doing the 15+ minute drive daily, either 2 or 4 times depending on if I chose to stay in town for the day or drive back home ... the drive has made me seriously question if we are doing the right thing. The getting out the door, the driving, the long day in town or adding a few extra drives, then the tired and cranky kids after their day at school - it just wasn't settling well in my heart. All was not well with my soul! And I could see it in the boys, too. Every day, Marty would ask if it was a school day and say he'd rather stay with me. Every day, Max would ask Paul what he planned to do at work that day, say that he sure wished he could go help Daddy at work, and ask Paul at the end of the day "What did you do today?". These boys want to be with us! We're spending scads of time and money shuttling them away from us! The drive proved to be more intrusive on our home and family time than I anticipated - some weeks I would not be home in the day (and sometimes evenings) all day, for 3 days! The fuel expense was putting increasing strain on our already strained bank account.

Enter: HOMESCHOOL

My sister is my homeschool (and otherwise) hero. She teaches her 6 kids at home and they are smart, well-behaved, well-adjusted and HEALTHILY SOCIALIZED kids. She was the first one to really show me the benefits of homeschool, though I had many other influences and examples. Over the years, I have always said we might pursue it "someday". While Max was at our beloved South Pop (I know I say that often - it's just so true!) - I didn't forsee any reason to pursue homeschool until at least Grade 6. I wasn't comfortable with the Middle School option, and my heart toward homeschooling was softening. I always felt a little bit envious when I heard of a family making the switch from public school, or starting out HS in Kindergarten. Yet I didn't feel it was for us just yet. With the move to this little valley, and considering the public school options, I realized that our "someday" might be coming much sooner than I thought it would. I started talking with my HS Mom-friends, and even stopped in at a local group that meets once a week in Duncan. The more I allowed myself to consider the possibility, the more I knew this was to be our next step. I could no longer ignore the feeling deep down that, however terrifying the prospect - we can do this, and we need to start now.

Last week I enrolled my boys with R.C.O.A.. Yesterday I submitted my "break-up" letters to the boys' teachers and principal and had a chat with the principal. We both shed some tears as we talked about our departure, but we both agree that it is best for our family to pursue this now. She told me that she loves my boys and will miss them, and we're welcome back anytime. It felt bittersweet for me to tell her, but it was only a little bit bitter and mostly sweet. My emotion was not tied up in the fact that I'm sad to be pulling my boys from public school, not at all. I think it's more the fact that I just want to do the right thing, and that means changing what has become our new normal and change is hard. I had debated about when to pull them from school, as this year has already been so tumultuous with the move and School #1 and then School #2. My sister and another wise friend made a very good point that the sooner we make the switch, the better it will be in the long run. I hadn't considered it that way but it totally makes sense. And so this evening we had a little family meeting and told the boys. We knew Marty would have no problem with the change. He has certainly made friends and seems to be doing well at school, but he is such a home-body. I had him at "stay with Mommy". Max was the one we were a bit concerned about how he would react. He is a boy who sometimes reacts strongly and fiercely to changes in plans, yet I had a feeling that he'd be just fine with the prospect. Sure enough, we needn't have worried. The boy is ecstatic! They both are. They were bouncing and hugging and even kissing each other. Max spent the next several hours asking questions and making suggestions about how we will do things. He even suggested that they both have a 5-minute quiet time every day, in their beds. I told him I was pretty sure that could be arranged. He wants to start on Monday.

The next steps are working with Regent to figure out what to do for curriculum for the remainder of this school year. I'll be meeting with the Coordinator next week sometime to make a plan. The boys will go to their current school Monday to Thursday of next week so they can continue preparing for and then perform their songs for the "Winter Concert". The Principal said she was really glad to have one more week with them. I think it will be just the right amount of closure time for them. Friday will be our first day at home because I have to be here to let the Shaw technician come and set up our sweet new package deal. We're finally getting a land line!

This school has a strong emphasis on music, which has been really neat to see my boys participate in. Once a week they sing O, Canada in the Monday assembly, always led by the Grade 3/4 teacher with his guitar. They have music class 1-2 times a week (above), and once a week a special drum teacher comes in and spends time with each class (more details on that to come, because I have been in conversation with him about continuing some lessons once we get settled into our homeschool routine and budget).

So that, my dear readers, is the rest of the story.

In a way, I suppose it's just the beginning ...