**Edited to add: Max was successfully trained by 29 months. Marty is right around the same age.**
Oh, the boy knows! He knows precisely what we want him to do, and he will. not. do. it. Potty training is all a muddle right now. (And many puddles, I assure you.) Over 12 days of working on this, we've had no more than 6 successful trips to the potty. Watching him, we know that he can tell when it's coming, he's just not doing anything about getting to the potty. Today his body language clearly told me that he had a poo a-coming. I asked him if it was coming. "No." I told him to go to the potty. "No." I made him go. By the time he got there, the deed was already done. So frustrating. Today, he also peed on Max's pillow, on the top bunk, no less! He's become much more aware when something happens, and gives me a look that I know it's too late to act on getting him to the pot. Paul and I have debated much over the past few days as to what to do. His success only comes when we insist he sit on the potty, knowing that the release is imminent. Last Sunday he stayed dry (in a diaper and then sitting on the potty) ... for over SEVEN HOURS. He then stood up, and took care of things in his undies. Each time we feel that we need to give it a break for a while, he'll suddenly sit on the potty for a poo! That gives us hope, but in reality, he really doesn't seem highly motivated. After deciding tonight to really give it a break, he pooped in his diaper, took it off, and hand-delivered the poo to the garbage can. Arrrg. So he won't poo in the potty, but has learned he doesn't like the feel of the mess in his undies or diaper.
Now what?! You out there, you moms of boys ... what was your experience like? One friend called me a hero for attempting to potty train a boy before 3 years of age. I suppose my experience with Max really was too good to be true. He took to it so amazingly well. I hardly remember cleaning up any messes after two weeks of introducing the potty. (Until we rented that nice log home and he peed in their brand new queen sized bed!)
My sister reminded me that Max's success was exceptional, and was not typical. Why did I have to experience that first?!
Depending on what happens with the diapers tomorrow (going to church and then to friends' for brunch ... ) we may put the whole deal on hold for a while. Just the other day I noticed he's finally pushing through his final two molars, which may have had something to do with his general attitude toward life. I've also read and heard lots of caution against potty training too close to the arrival of a new baby. As much as I'm not interested in having two kids in diapers, I really don't want one in diapers and one doing his business on the floor, or pillow, or wherever he so happens to be.
But what if he keeps taking his diaper off?!
Okay, now I'm ready for advice. What has, or hasn't worked for you mothers of boys ... Becky? Kerri? Corinne? Elizabeth - dare I ask?
Hi, Mother of a pair of boys here; What worked for one NEVER seems to work for the other. My first was fully completely done and going alone at 18months before his brother arrived on the scene. I felt I didn't have the time to devote to my second toilet training until well after his 2nd birthday which in my family is unheard of (seething guilt of poor parenting). We tried all the 'bribes' you can buy, and nothing was working, I didn't have the day just he and I to do the day thing, I would have loved to have gotten someone to take the oldest away for a week and I would have taught the youngest. What truely motivated him to suddenly use the toilet was a trip to Ikea where his brother and 2 friends got to go in the playplace for an hour and he had to shop with me because they don't take pull-up kids in there. He was so left out, he realized that the toilet was his only way in. We have since moved away from the Ikea town and he hasn't had the chance to benefit yet. He turned 3 last month. There was alos lots of talk about preschool, since that only happens for boys who go in the toilet. It was some of the worst parenting days ever for me. I wish you much luck and success....maybe after #3 arrives he will see that only 'babies' wear diapers and that it is undesireable?
ReplyDeleteSeriously though, Good Luck, Stay strong!
Our boys all did the "I know what I'm supposed to do but ain't gonna do it" thing too. I made them take care of part of the mess themselves. They had to take off their wet clothes, bring them to the laundry room and get themselves something clean and dry to put on (obviously I took care of the poopy clothes, but they still had to redress themselves).
ReplyDeleteWe did end up using a swat or two with some of them -- but only when we knew, knew, KNEW they knew and were being willfully disobedient. I felt kinda guilty about that until my grandma said she'd had to resort to the same with some of her more stubborn children!
Good luck!
I don't have any good advice except to be persistent and patient. As you know, Aidan was trained by the time he was about 29 months and I've been training Michael for about 1 1/2 years now and he still has accidents almost everyday. I've tried EVERYTHING with Michael and have decided that one day he will just have to decide to grow up and I will just have to weather through this with him. The one thing that has had some success is sticker charts for his successes and having to take off his wet clothes and dress himself but I guess that only works if they can actually do that!!
ReplyDeleteYou are definitely a trouper, Rachel! I obviously can't speak to your situation since I haven't yet reached this oh-so-exciting stage and obviously don't have a boy. But I admire your persistance. It must be difficult to deal with. I get frustrated when Priya throws her food on the ground and makes a mess. I can't imagine having her peeing on pillows and the other laundry issues you are having! Ugh! Life is fun with kids, eh? How have you been feeling these days? Ready to pop? :)
ReplyDeleteHi Rachel, yes, to have Max trained that early was exceptional! None of mine have been completely trained that early or that quickly. I have a 4yr old who still has accidents. I also have a 26month old who showed signs of being ready in the Summer, but I put it off because I didn't want to be training with a newborn.
ReplyDeleteI can understand not wanting 2 in diapers, but you might have to leave it a little while.
He'll get it eventually! Just stay positive and use whatever works for him.
I hope that helps!
I told you about the fun of training Hunter. He was in underwear for over a year and is just getting it, now. I just want to wish you well. It's no fun, I agree.
ReplyDeletePerhaps I should add that all four of our boys were over three years old before they were potty trained (not to discourage you, just for info!).
ReplyDeleteKerri
Hey there ... I'm a newbie -- you gave me the advice on the wagon (thanks) via odds and ens. I can SOOOO relate to this. You got good advise and I'll give more of the same. I was 8mo pregnant and didn't want TWO in diapers. However, I also didn't want to fight, kick, scream and then have him revert when the baby showed up, so I gave up. We worked, we rested, we worked, we rested ... and then he just started catching on. We did "potty rocks" where everytime we were successful he put a colorful marble/rock into a mason jar and when it filled up we went for ice cream.
ReplyDeleteSimply, my advise is to work on it, then rest ... seems when you're resting things sink in vs fade away - at least it did for us. Good luck!!
have no advice to give, though the thought of 2 in diapers (the cost more than the chore of it!) makes me seriously consider starting soon. but i'm SO scared. so i won't. i'll just read all about how you finally accomplish the task and then perhaps i'll have the guts to give it a go :)
ReplyDeleteOh....I feel your pain Rachel! I am having the exact same experience with Quinn! Today we are trying to go diaperless and underwearless so he can go completely on his own (he's big on having his independence)...we'll see how it goes! The other day one of his good buddies was over and Simon was much better in the potty training department...this has sparked Quinn's interest in being a big boy just like his friend! I'm totally using this to my advantage! This morning he went on the potty all by himself...no help and after said...I'm a big boy just like Simon!! My hopes are up!!
ReplyDeleteI think in this stage the 'little stinker' knows he is becoming more independant and can make his own decisions (he can play with what he wants, go where he wants, eat what he wants, the typical 2 yr old stuff) but that means he also has the power to control the diaper vs toilet scenario. Just let it go... I think that once he sees that he is getting the same bum wipe as the new baby, he could have a change of attitude. all the best! n
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